Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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