Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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