Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
