My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
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Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
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Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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