I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
