I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
