Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My dick has a subreddit
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
