i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
