Don't make out with my wife yet
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
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