His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
