Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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