Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
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i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
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had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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