Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
