i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
