he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
