It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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