He passed out mid-signature
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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