I wanna passion pit in your ass
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
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Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
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Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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