I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
