Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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