Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize