yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
