How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
No stitches, just platelets and will power
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
