haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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