Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
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I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
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I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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