worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
