yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
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These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
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I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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