My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
