she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
