He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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