Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
