you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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