Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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