so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize