He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I need to calm my uterus...
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize