I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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