it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
