Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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