I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
