Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
