can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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