and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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