she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
