Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize