that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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