I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
