I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize
