Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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