you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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