It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
