So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
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I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
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I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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