Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
