For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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