just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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