Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
