This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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