life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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